Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
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