Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
home. puking in laundry basket.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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