so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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