He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Randomize
