we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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