nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize