i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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