wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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