that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
