My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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