you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
