goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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