just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
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