the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
