just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
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