ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
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