my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
