Just took my morning after pill in the library
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
