don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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