But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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