apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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