woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
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