38 yer olds are good kisserssss
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize