Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
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