I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Boobs speak an international language.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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