It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I touched a dick in church today
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
