You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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