So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
