I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
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