i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
