I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
