I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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