Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
