good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize