I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
