I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
honey bunches of taint.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
