U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
