do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
