Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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