CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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