there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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