we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
