dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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