dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
