She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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