Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
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