dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
