your room smells of hookers.
And success
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
