i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
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