what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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