I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Four minutes until I can fart!
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I need to sanitize my soul.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
