I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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